Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Stuffing is Love OR Out on a Limb in Limerick



Not an aphrodisiac? My stuffing? I beg your pardon! There is nothing that makes me want to rush off to the bedroom (to sleep) like four or five servings of my beloved stuffing. I personally opt out of dried cranberries, walnuts and other items fine in the context of fruitcake. Of course I respect the creativity of those who improvise, and will certainly eat! My own blend: A few bags of unseasoned bread cubes are the vehicle for about 250 times their weight in onions, celery and only slightly frostbitten sage and rosemary, some thyme, lots of black pepper, drippings, salt and schmaltz*.

There once was a woman from Granby
Who knew just how good stuffing can be
When jasmine and rose
Became dull for her nose

uh, oh... Help!

She chopped onions, then more
'Till tears flowed out the door
Then said: _________________________

Please finish the limerick with your comments.


* chicken fat - no offense to turkeys

Monday, November 17, 2008

Go for Broke, Alice

My friend Alice has decided to seize the day. Not just today. Every day. She went swimming with turtles in the Galapagos and threw her own 40th birthday party. You would not put your money on Alice in a foot race, but she drives a Jaguar. This, technically, makes her a fast woman.

Alice hinted that my blog posts might be getting windy and had the extraordinary perspective to suggest her recent episode with Boucheron Jaipur would liven things up. Jaipur is one of Sophia Grojsman's creations, a sister of White Linen, Calyx, Paris, Bvlgari Pour Femme, Yvress, Eternity, Trésor, White Diamonds, Beautiful and the new Outrageous, among others. It contains plum, apricot, peach, violet, rose (because Sophia never met a rose she didn't like), locust-tree, heliotrope, peony, iris, white musk and sandalwood. Nose Jean-Pierre-Mar collaborated with Grojsman on the scent.

Red herring!!! It doesn't matter what Jaipur smells like, but you should know that this is a perfume with pedigree, just as Alice is a person of great class. Kinda dry sense of humor, sometimes, best not to be the object... But overall, regal, generous, patient, intellectually gifted, a culture maven and great cook.

Alice told me two weeks ago, with great equanimity, that she broke her bottle. "Your Jaipur!" I gasped. "Yes," I could see her smiling though we spoke by phone. "The one you let me smell?" "Yes." "The one I loved?" "That one," Alice said in a consoling voice. I was confused by her reaction - no, by the lack of a reaction, and continued to probe.

Pretty straightforward case, as it happens, of a dropped bottle that broke and did not miraculously heal itself. Additional details did not change the basic outlines of the situation. Glass all over. Perfume all over. A bathroom and walk-in dressing area redolent of Jaipur.

How was Alice coping? "Oh, it's wonderful! Every time I walk anywhere near it smells just like Jaipur! I don't even have to spray it on."

Alice's perfume bottle is not completely empty. Her bathroom floor is completely full.

Carry on Alice. Go for broke!

P.S. Alice - need 40th birthday party photograph for inquiring readers.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Sophia Grojsman - You Make a Grown Man Cry

He wanted my advice on a new scent for his wife. We ruled out the orientals and woods. Nor did this seem a case for fruity, herbal, green or marine scents. My spousal interview quickly revealed that she, like her husband, was a self-contained individual, not the frilly, romantic type. Clouds of rich floral bouquet would not do. I offered a fragrance I admire and enjoy, always describing it as a dignified woman in pearls.

He inhaled Bvlgari Pour Femme. Suddenly his face reddened, eyes glistening. "What's wrong?" I asked, confused. "I want it!" he said with extreme seriousness. "What was that?" I prodded, shocked by his obvious physiological reaction. "Oh, nothing," he replied, avoiding my gaze momentarily, "something just caught me." I realized then that the scent of Sophia Grojsman's perfume had brought him to tears. Bvlgari Pour Femme contains Grojsman's unique blend of orange blossom, rosewood, bergamot, ylang-ylang, prelude rose, violet, mimosa, sambac jasmine, tea, musk, vetiver and iris.

I will never know the specific memory or precise emotion triggered by this scent. To the untrained eye, it appeared to be the purest, deepest love and admiration released under the spell of Bvlgari Pour Femme. Thank you, Sophia.

Perfume TMI

You probably have responsibilities: a job, family, house, maybe some other things you need to take care of. Call that “work.” Then there is spare time where you pursue the occasional interest. Start spending a lot of time at it and telling people: “Oh, Saturday mornings I always go _____ ing,” and you’ve got a hobby. Come Saturday night, if you’re still doing it in preference to food or , you are officially obsessed.

But the last condition mentioned is not yours. Yours is the well-balanced life, a pleasant mix of gainful, recreational and community-oriented activity. You enjoy creature comforts in moderation, neither glutton nor snob. A nice meal, a little wine, a light workout, Netflix, pretty dress, new drapes. Sensory stimulation, good, wholesome fun. Once in a while, you enjoy applying fragrance. A little perfume or cologne is uplifting. It feels good.

But always that niggling question: Which one? In 2007, according to Euromonitor, $3.3 billion was spent on fragrances in the U.S. alone. A good percentage of that on bottles opened once, only to sit on the dresser, maybe yours, as the sad reminder of an uninformed choice.

You want a great scent, but where is the fragrance equivalent of The Food Network, Cigar Aficionado or Consumer Reports? Where is someone to tell you the magic words that will send a cosmetics clerk scampering for your perfect scent?

If perfume is already prominent on your radar screen and you’d like to read more about 1,500 of your favorites, read Perfumes: The Guide, a spirited survey by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez. See Amazon’s customer reviews for consumer and fragrance industry responses to the authors’ no-holds-barred reviews. To preserve the peace, the French used to say “les goûts et les couleurs ne se discutent pas” a rough mix of “to each his own” and “keep it to yourself.” Luca Turin, whose first guide was published in French, threw that advice out the window long ago.

Maybe you are still lost about finding your next perfume. Before we go further, please decide: Do you seriously want to spend six months or six years learning about top notes, middle notes and base notes, naturals vs. synthetics, dry-down and sillage? Do you see yourself making and trading decants on the Internet? Would you leave a decent paying corporate job to do this full time? Are you crazy?

My recommendation: Leave these expensive and time-consuming pursuits to the perfumistas, denizens of fragrant cyber-spots like Perfume Smellin' Things, Sniffapalooza, Perfume Posse, Now Smell This, Scented Salamander and Basenotes. After browsing sites like these, if you remain unconverted, consider yourself an occasional perfume website user. Still wondering about that perfect scent? Skip the next paragraph, but read on.

Having visited the sites above, you no longer view life the same way. I greet you as a brother, sister, friend. Please send me your contact information and receive details of my 12-step program for the likes of us, expected to begin 3rd quarter, 2009.

Take heart. It is reasonable not only to hope for, but also to find a wonderful scent without becoming a fragrance fanatic or researcher. Just as you would hire an accountant, dentist or electrician, you can hire a perfume consultant to ask you the right questions, have you smell some things, do all the thinking and move you quickly to the right bottle. Makes scents, no?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Women Pretending to be Flowers Pretending to be Insects

Now that's allure!

Pavillon des Fleurs by Septimanie Perfumes is good. The field of critics is crowded, so I try to avoid pure perfume commentary, focusing instead on the match between scent and wearer.

Quite simply, I like the smell and was enchanted by Jeanne Weber, Septimanie designer, whom I met at New York's Takashimaya emporium. Upon smelling her Egyptian jasmine and Comoran ylang-rich Pavillon des Fleurs, my mind drifted to Carol, Eva and Mona. These are friends who love the suggestive scent of posies like jasmine, ylang-ylang and tuberose that emit animal smells to attract pollinators.

Oriental fragrances are not the only femme fatales in town. Amber, musk, vanilla, sandalwood, patchouli and spice get an occasional run for their money from floral contenders in the really grown-up perfume market.

Pavillon des Fleurs also features orange blossom, lily of the valley, English leather, clove, and iris.